Sunday, April 30, 2017

The Fashion Do's And Don't's When You Are France's Macron

When you're a banker, and in the center in EU, then you are the darling of the social scene. While poor people are off earning an honest living fighting the wars you graciously start, or are blessed by being able to prove Islam wrong when the Muslims' murders of the poor coinicide with the police's murders of Muslims, when you're Emmanuel Macron, everybody's on your side. But, when you're Emmanuel Macron, it is probably very much still infuriating to you that the poor dead Muslims cannot return from the dead to advise the other ones that not only is their poverty their own doing, but so is their horrible fashion sense. So, there's that...

What follows are the fashion do's and don't's that one simply must abide in order to win the cabal's backing for your candidacy for French president: if you're Macron.

  1. Do not hesitate to show out for EU interests by pretending you have won already, and go ahead and kick Poland in line. Poland is not scary at all to the EU. And if you're Macron, Poland does not frighten you in the least. Although, it does frighten the banker inside you, and the woman inside you, when any nation acts in its best interests, and that action is not giving you or your bank rheams of cash
  2. Buy two suits only, and wear them on alternating days for your entire career. That way, people cannot distinguish between your body odor, and the bullshit that you continue peddling. Also, you maintain a psychological advantage because you will know secretly that it is both!
  3. Do always pretend to sympathize with the poor and the Muslims. Try to cry when you're around both. Do not neglect to use your powerful powers of presumption to pretend you are already boss, and further invite Donald Trump in since he has become a cheap, sick and depraved Globalist like you. Do candidly admit to Trump that you know why he only owns just the two toupees. 
  4. Whenever possible, check and ensure that you are not standing directly in front of a mirror. Due to how transparent you are when you're Emmanuel Macron, you cannot risk someone photographing mirrors facing mirrors on the thirteenth day of any given month, nor the ensuing transportation back in time. You might accidentally get your suit days confused, as a result.
  5. Black and white prints during issues of gay, and alternative concepts of reality...
  6. Color Prints only while discussing things you actually know nothing about, or do not care about.
  7. Never try to peek around a corner when assasins are about, due to the fact if you're Macron, you have infuriated the right, and the left, rich and the poor, and thus probably you have infuriated yourself. If those pinheads at Cerne invent doppelganger technology, and you're Emmanuel Macron, if you peek around corners, then you know that this is "B" universe Macron: so have your Muslim terrorists assault him sexually. Also, check and make a mental note of which suit he is wearing.
So, if you're Macron, and that's your real name, why not go ahead and discuss the content of your plans for France that are not vividly conspiratorial, and only benefit the very wealthiest people?

Nice suit! Bro.

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